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Teahouse: Atros sells Linneaus to Homophobians from the decadent but evil country to the north, Homophobia. Linneaus gets horrifically abused as a sex slave, as the Homophobians are absolutely not down with pink hair (obligatory shaving all his hair off scene!).

Gilder goes after his favourite whore, finds him in dire straights. For plot reasons, such as possibly public gang bangs of gay prostitutes being a real homophobia thing, he has to fuck abused (bald) sex slave Linneus, and then murder a whole bunch of people, steal Linneaus, and escape into the convenient house of the last person he assassinated, the District Manager of Homophobia’s bathworks.

Linneaus is surprisingly not okay with murder, and is fucking terrified of Gilder because serial killer. He’s also got a broken wrist, more trauma than you can shake a stick at, is dead certain that Atros didn’t mean to sell him like that, and a mild peanut allergy. After like three days, he’s totally slutting it up with Gilder, betraying his former owner’s trust, but it’s so good that he can’t resist the crazy kidnapping serial killer.

There’s also a guy named Sacha there, and he does not think any of this is a good idea.

Forgotten Realms: Jarlaxle accidentally sells himself into (super kinky) sexual slavery on the surface. Entreri rescues him not because he cares (he so absolutely doesn’t care about Jarlaxle), but because Jarlaxle stiffed him on their last bar tab.

Entreri also rescues a ton of other slaves (mostly various flavours of Surface Elves, but definitely including Foxfire from the Elaine Cunningham books) in the same brothel, not because he feels anything when he looks at their pitiful wasted skins, but because he suspects they, too, might owe him money.

Then he takes them back to their homes. Because they owe him money, maybe. Damn it. And they probably keep that money in their homes.

Also Jarlaxle is incredibly inappropriately molesty and personal-space invading in an attempt to prove that Entreri likes him best (Entreri v. certain he DOES NOT), and also incredibly racist against surface elves. Like constantly.

Marathon: Security is sold into alien sex slavery by a talking sword in 18th century France--when they meet again, Security had gained a grudge, a cyborg arm, and the sword has been hooked into a space ship.

Can they work through their obvious sexual tension before Durandal sheaths himself in Security's fleshbag? Or will their obvious sexual tension be resolved through Durandal sliding into the soft, well-used flesh of Security’s remaining humanity?

One Piece: Mihawk is a slave to the government, desperate to be free. Zoro and Perona crash-landing in his castle might be the key to his release--if they can work together for ten fucking seconds without fighting--if they’d ever actually go into the creepy dungeon he told them not to enter so they can figure out <i>how</i> to free him--if they could sail in a straight line without him holding their hands--if, indeed, either of them showed even the slightest hint of competence, then they could conceivably help him.

But first he must convince them to seek out his heart and return it to him. Pity he’s been compelled to never tell anyone that it’s missing.

Naruto: Sasuke is an abandoned sex slave in the bad side of town, and Sakura is a rich assassin, her pocketbook growing fat off the blood of the people. When she discovers his diseased body in her garbage, will she leave him for the homeless to eat? Or will she rescue him and use his half-dead corpse to test out new poisons?

The second, please. Also, Ino is Sakura’s girlfriend, and she really likes human flesh.

Maiden Rose: Klaus is Taki’s sex slave, imported from the exotic Notanazilandia, but no one knows. He’s supposedly a tank mechanic (poor guy saw a tank once, but it was a fish tank and the fish were dead), but in truth he’s there to feed Taki’s perverse sexual appetites.

The torture is constant--he hasn’t slept through the night in months, drugged into a state of constant readiness, his blood burning like soulfire under his skin, and he’s just. So. Tired.

Taki masquerades as pure, untouched, and Klaus knows if anyone finds out the use Taki makes of him, it won’t be Taki’s fault. It’ll be his, and his death is sure to follow. Klaus knows this, and strains desperately for discretion--learning the ins and outs of fish tanks with the determination of the desperate, he level grinds until the Royal Palace’s koi pond reaches an inexplicable nirvana.

But eventually, it’s all for naught. Taki’s vicious and relentless sexual appetites get them caught, in humiliatingly public venue, and Klaus is sentenced to death by gang bang. Will Taki save him? Probably not. A whore is a whore--infinitely replaceable.

Historical RPF: The year is 1205, and Elizabeth the First of England is the first Tudor to gain entry to the hallowed halls of the Hogwarts Boarding School for Mysteriously Talented Children. In her first year, she meets the secret perfects, an elite group of students devoted to the pursuit of sticky gravity. Their leader, Louis Riel of Manitoba, Archduke of Winnipeg, lives in secret, pursuing a hopeless goal of sovereignty for his people.

Will Elizabeth make her future subject submit to her firm and not particularly gentle hand? Or will his French blood prevail in revolution that is coded in his very genes?

And can they get that out of the way before the Black Death returns, and Elizabeth succumbs to the charms of the lesbian trio: Anne Bonney, Cleopatra VII, and Jeanne D’Arc?

Or:

The year is 1875, and Louis Riel is exiled for crimes against the government of Canada. The railroad heads west, and Manitoba is finally surveyed and properly blocked off into little boxes for Ottawa.

In the winter of 1876, Sir John A. Macdonald is advised of the shift of public opinion. A passionate series of letters to the newspapers is inciting the Quebecois, lighting a rebellious fire in their eyes. It’s just shy of ninety years since the French revolted in Europe, but it is not far from the minds of the Senate or Legislature when their resident French population’s blood is stirring so patriotically in their veins.

Under duress, Sir John A. Macdonald calls on the one man he knows can make any revolution fail--former MP Louis Riel.

Louis Riel accepts too eagerly, heading straight into Ottawa, and arrives in Macdonald’s office at gunpoint.

Their first words, reportedly, consisted of “Shall I assume you are accepting the offer?” and a equally dry, “You may.”